Taking a break from my adoption theme! I just got back from Hawaii, where I was lucky enough to get to watch a ceremony where they release baby honu (Hawaiian green sea turtle... an endangered species) back into the wild after raising them from birth. Very cool!! I had fun with this, but I know it could still use some tweaking. And hopefully I didn't butcher the Hawaiian too badly... LOL. Your suggestions are welcome!
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Wow did that bring back memories! I was stationed in Hawaii with the Army for 3 years with my wife and kids from 1995-1998...we loved it!!!! I liked your story...the sea turtle is really quite prized over there. My only suggestion might be to have an image of a sea turtle at the very beginning of the movie to give me some perspective on who's doing the talking. Thanks for the memories!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteHi –
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure what happened. I posted a comment on Friday but now I don’t see it. Hmmm.
Anyway, I thought the story was great. The background music was perfect and you really captured the essence of Hawaii.
My suggestion has to do with the script of the story. I only knew what was going on because of the intro you wrote on the blog site. However, if you want the story to stand on its own, I think the audience will be lost because there is no mention that this is an endangered sea turtle being released back into the wild. In the beginning, you could say something like “I am a honu, they say I am an endangered species but so far I have left a comfortable life.” Then at the end when you say “I am scared, excited and nervous but I feel a yearning and desire come over me….” You could add “desire comer over me to join the rest of my species in the wild…”
Again – sorry this is late and I hope you se these comments in time. I’m not sure what happed to my post from Friday!
Very nice. Here are a couple ideas.
ReplyDelete-You begin with "This is the POPHDA I will have to travel....... HONUA LAHU, the unseen world I will have to travel. I'm not sure what POPHDA means. I think you translated "HONUA LAHU" with the very next phrase. One idea is to put the Hawaiian terms (perhaps with super short translation) on the screen when you say them. Another possibility is to translate each Hawaiian phrase as you state it, as I believe you did with "HONUA LAHU." Nice work.
Great story and a unique way to document part of your vacation. I must admit that I did not read your intro before I started watching and it took me a little while to realize you were talking from the perspective of the turtle.
ReplyDeleteIf you could fade out the sound on the end of your video it would transition smoother.
One last thing from my graphic designer perspective. Yellow text on a light blue background does not create enough contrast and it is very hard to read.
Looks like your trip was a fun one and left a lasting impression.
Thanks, guys! I have some great ideas here to incorporate in my edit. =o) Dr. Howell, I had to go back and watch my video again to see what you were talking about... I said, "This is the PATH..." but it certainly did sound funny when I listened to it again! Maybe I'll choose a better word to use. LOL
ReplyDelete